Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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