At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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