grandma shit on top of the toilet
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
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All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
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Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
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