yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
