it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
