I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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