hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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