I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
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