sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Randomize
