I bet he comes in French.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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