You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
