fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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