Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
