I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
