And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I think I sprained my soul last night
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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