my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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