sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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