you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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