just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
