She said her name was "party"
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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