I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
