I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
