I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
