Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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