Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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