But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
