you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
