Apparently you make a good broom.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize