Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some magic done to my vagina
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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