They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
