remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
