I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
