I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
