I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
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