New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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