i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
They are going to name an STD after you.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
