just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
