if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
