Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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