Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
