Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
