I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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