i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
