The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
