I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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