16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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