i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
3pm strippers are depressing
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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