just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
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he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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