If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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