I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
