The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
