i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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