only you would photoshop your dick
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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