TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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