I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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