Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
