is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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