He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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