Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
